I'm just a girlI'm just a girlWith ruffled hairAnd sore eyesI'm just a girlWho likes to writeAnd can't drawI'm just a girlWith childish fantasiesAnd faded dreamsI'm just a girlWith cold handsAnd a warm heartThat no one can see.
The girl with the rope colored hairThere once was a girlWith rope colored hairWhich she kept in a loose bunSo she could dream without distractionShe chewed cinnamon gumOn her way home from schoolOnly on Mondays and FridaysFor ten dimes a packShe sat alone in the front during mathWhere she wrote furiouslyAbout her life beyond lifeAnd drowned out the lessons liesWhen people asked herAbout her feelings and fearsShe'd whisper "i'm fine"And walk awayHer eyes homed stormsThat raged when she screamedAnd softened when she criedThey had silver trimmingWhile she walks home on the coldHer rope colored hair flies in her faceAnd as it begins to sprinkleShe smiles at the skyAnd feels the angels tears
R e p e a t.I'm the type of girlWho has to sing the song whenI read the lyrics.
Dear Simon, Can You Hear Me?Dear Simon, How have you been? I wish you were still here. I miss you dearly, we all do. Mama, papa, and little Lily. She wakes up crying every night, more than usual. Mama tries to calm her down but she keeps crying and crying. Her cries have been getting louder every month since you left. I bet she thinks that if she cries louder, you will be able to hear her. That you will worry and come home. Mama sent me to my room when I asked you why you left. Why?! I'm six, I can learn now! When I flung myself on my bed, I could hear mama's sobs and moans coming from downstairs. Why was she crying? Was it because she looked at your old journals? Your clothes and tools? The next day when I asked her again, she told me that you left because cancer took you away. I don't know who cancer is but I promised you will escape from its grasps, I promised. Until I told daddy this. He said that you can't return from brain cancer. Brain, what a funny first name. Though, daddy says th
S t a r.Deep into the nightA silent starGlimmeringGlowing with beautyIts brothers and sistersDancing around itIts mother, the sunBursting radiant lightIts father, the moonShadowed and coldThe star ragesFlies across the sky in a furyBlazingLeaving a fire trail behind it
nothing at allto her, he was her everythingher light at the end of a tunneland he looked so splendidin whatever he worethe way he styled his hair made her swoonand she knew it was meant to bebut to him, she didn't existshe lived on the other side of the tv screenher face was the skyher smile, the sunand when he looked at her he saw horizonfrom then on that's all she wasnothing
p i e c e si. melted snow doesn't stick to the pavementso he left when he had the chancewith another woman around his waistand a one-story home with a fireplaceii. spring flowers wilt in the coldso i stayed the months insidemy feet grew chilled, and my eyelids heavyas i wished the schooldays awayiii. school-bells ring once on the mid day of juneso they ran as quickly as they couldi spent my days buried in smilesall plastic and full of liesiv. autumn leaves only fall when deadso she lifted herself up to standmy heart began to rebuild itself slowlyand a soft voice begged me to stayv. faded memories spread themselves farso i spent the seasons alonesummer and winter, autumn and springand they're always the same thing.
a half-remembered dreami.i was invited to her homewhere she served me peppermint teaand veggie pizza"my pleasure" she sangii.the market was blue and greenpainted in her dreamsshe danced from stall to stallcarefully paying the right amountiii.she glided and sangand swept the sorrow away with a smileher angelic wings were colored goldfrom a run-in with Godiv.we were covered in flowers and starsshe pointed at a bear, and i showed her a cubbells echoed from our throatsas the night sky bid us farewellv p1.the sun radiated sorrowas my thumb hugged hers"goodbye" they whisperedv p2.the stone felt roughunder my protected feeti turned to see her dance off, her hair waving at mei waved backvi.my home was emptyexcept for a sense of dreadand that was when i saw herwe sang and hugged thumbs"hello" they whispered
H u mShe listens to music at 2amDroning on and onAs the radio plays her favorite songAnd she wants to get up and danceBut her parents slumber onSo she lays in bed quietlyAnd composes the songs with her feetHumming with her mouth clamped shutFor she is obsessed with the songsThat pour her heart out for her
MaybeJust give me one dream that isn't see-through.One substantiated claim to reality,that I might hold onto life with.Every quivering cell, mid-osmosis, begs youfor a shred of dignity with my tea.Just one chance for something heavy,something hard and room temperature. Real.I don't want to look through my day dreamsand see someone else's face there.I don't want to dream of those peoplewho may make, or break me, in the future tense.I am tired of milky white and reflective black.It is time for a life of colour and hope -and not looking back to see if the pastmatches up with the jigsaw map to the end game.I want to be in the game, participating,feeling, like I might make it there one day.Just give me something, that I can hold onto;something harder to see through than a whisperof that voice in the back of my mind that saysMaybe.
Why Poets DrinkChrist,there is a reason poets drink.Abstention feels bad -infertile and stuffed, swollen.It does not sell booksor win those brassangels on ribbons.Tonight my lover is bourbon,distilled in some soulsouth of Carolina.It plays tricks with colorsand the sounds on my tongue.It grows words wherenone have loitered for weeksand handfasts me tothe rest of the world.It is ransom -a jest of seasonsand my bone idle brainawakes.
And That's Wrong.You're fat.Or maybe you'reAnorexic...I don't know.But you're not perfect.And that's wrong.You're ugly.Or maybe you'reFake...But you're not perfect.And that's wrong.You're quiet.Or maybe you'reObnoxious...But you're not perfect.And that's wrong.You're you.Or maybe you'relike everybody else?Well.You're not perfect.And that's wrong.
I'm Here for YouWhat do you expect me to sayWhen you keep pushing me away?RememberI can't read your mind,And time cannot rewind.Regret will only make it worseLike a bad omen from a curse.This will surely make you stronger;Please just hold on longer.I'll be here, right by your side;You don't have to run and hide.Just try to find the silver liningThe sun will keep on shining.Never forget that this is true:I am here for you.
LoveLove is when somebody gives you a shoulder to cry on.Love is when somebody makes you laugh when you're sad.Love is when you miss somebody whenever they are gone.Love is when whenever you see that person you feel glad.Loving somebody is choosing not to see their flaws.A human being will never be perfect.Everything that person does you will give a loud applause.Cause in your eyes everything that person does is correct.You want them to smile.You would work extra just to be with that person.Even if it would be just for a while.Love is unconditional, that's the truth.
You're Not?You're anorexic if you're thinYou're not? Then you're obese.If you're different, you're insaneYou're not? Then you're a fake.If you're happy, you're hiding something.You're not? You must be emo.If you're dating, you're a slut.You're not? You must have no friends.If you're popular, you're a jerk.You're not? You're a nobody.If you're quiet, you must be disabled.You're not? You obnoxious freak.If you're you, you're wrong.You're not?Then you must be perfect.
MaskHave you ever worn a mask for so longThat you're afraid to take it off,And breathe in the purityOf the unfiltered world outside?Would your lungs be able to take it?Or burst trying?Have you ever worn a mask for so longThat you're afraid to take it offBecause no one might recognize you?Would you recognize yourself?Have you ever worn a mask for so longThat you're afraid to take it off,Because you don't know anymoreIf there's anything underneath?
queen of nothing.what I've learned:I still remember singing in my room when I was six, and having my mother come down the hall and slam the door so hard that the windows shook.Her nails hurt when she scraped the tears off my face. "It doesn't matter what you want," she'd always tell me.Like, when that drunk driver swerved and hit her car I didn't want her to leave me, and it didn't matter.Once on vacation I bought a pair of fuzzy leather heels for two hundred dollars, and when I wore them to dinner, I found out that1. "Suede" is a fancy word for "fuzzy leather."And 2. Good things don't last: That night my cousin told me that she thought 135 pounds was a little too big for five foot eight. So I tore my tights up to the thigh and threw those new suede heels in the garbage.It felt good later, to know that they couldn't hate me more than I hate myself.My six-word story from ninth grade reads, "If I don't laugh, I'll cry."When I read that treating people like trash to gets them to nee
Why I Hate My LifeWhy I Hate My Life:Despite the fact that I'm a trained professionalI have to work odd-jobs making deliveries on a motorcycleThe only girl who I ever lovedwas just using me as a replacementThe only girl that actually likes meruns a bar and took over my houseI don't have the guts to kick her outso I end up sleeping at an abandoned churchI've recently picked up a strange rashit hurts and I have to wear sleeves to cover itMy only friends are a guy that never comes out from a forestand a girl that's always looking to steal the meager possessions I haveEverything sucks reallybecause the one person who cared about meis already dead...He was my army buddy, always cool, always the bestI visit his grave sometimes, in the middle of long deliveriesThe worst part about everything thoughis the fact that the one guy who made my life hellThe one guy who took everything important away from mejust came back to town a few minutes ago...And you know what he said the moment
Please, Don'tPlease, don'tYou don't realizeWhat will happen if you doYou speak to thousandsBut you listen to no one elsePlease, don'tCut that wrist againWhat pain you cause meYou scream for helpBut you do not accept itPlease, don'tDon't make meBuild you your coffinI don't want to paint youWith my misery tearsPlease don'tDon't do itLife has so much moreTo offer youJust give it timeAnd times a bitchBut happiness will comeAnd trust me, it's worth the wait
Panic AttackI don't knowIt just hurtsKill the monsters inside of meDon't let them growPlease, you're my only hope I cant help but to yellI'm out of my damn mindWhat's that smell? Smell my skin burning, I'm in hell Oh what to believe, what to believeYou or this self-destroying symphonyI'm shakingGod, save me I'm just a fucking mistakeI cant go any furtherI'm drowning in a salty lakeWhat is it like to be sane To be at peace, in controlto feel no painI try to break free but the voices pull me backI struggle and screamBut my self-worth are their snacks
Hard TimesI see you’ve been weeping for some time nowYou’re all torn out and coldEven if all you see is darknessYou’re the bit of light that’s shiningAnd I know you don’t have controlBut you can't just let goBecause if one day you do, you might lose yourselfThen I’ll be left alone, with no one to hold.
Hope (I Won't)I won't let a razor bladeTake away this life I've made.I won't let the shame and guiltRuin everything I've built.I won't let being wrongStop me from being strong.I won't let sorrow and painResurrect the demons that I've slain.I won't let ugly spiteTell me that I'm not right.I won't let the dark pastMake my endless hurt last.I won't let this nooseLeave me hanging loose.I won't let the world win;My life is only just about to begin.
SuicidalBlood flows from our wrists,Making our hands turn into fists.We only feel the pain and sorrow,Have we given up hope for a better tomorrow?The rope is hanging from the ceiling,Helping us end that miserable feeling.The pills are scattered across the floor,Maybe we need to swallow just one more?Others might refuse to see the cruelty of life,While others try to end it by the knife.Trying to get out of this cruel dream,Sometimes all we can do is scream.There are others like you out there,You might not yet know where.But they try to overcome it,That's something not all will admit.Every one of us needs a helping hand,Facing these torments alone is something none can withstand.But we would first need to admit and ask,Be willing to take off this smiling mask.Before we get to help to finally smile again,And get rid of all this pain.
I Comfort MyselfWith a warm drink, whispering secrets to my own reflection.The struggles that plague me, though none may know,Are only for the ears of my quiet mirror, who smilesSoftly, warmly and with care. He tells me, I'm fineI've done well for now and soon I may finally rest.Though the silence continues to press upon me,Weighing upon my soul like an iron crate.Still I find comfort in whispering secrets,If only to my own reflection - holding a warm drink...-Chen Yuan Wen, 17th October 2012
S o r r y.I'm sorry I'm randomI'm sorry I'm oddI'm sorry I'm weirdI'm sorry I'm strangeI'm sorry I'm differentI'm sorry I'm me.